01/28/2015
I’m sure
there must be written text on nude etiquette somewhere, defining what is
considered proper or improper behavior in a nudist/naturist environment. At
this point, I have not truly sought out any other resources for determining if
this is the case (though I’m sure I will after this). I had this question first
come to mind, as a result of a conversation I had with a family member. Now
this discussion was brought about as we were discussing my previous blog (Why
Be a Nudist) and this is the same family member who thought I hadn’t defined my
stand as a nudist by explaining it with words such as “liberty” and “freedom”
in my statements. She mentioned she’d read my blog and identified herself in my
comments. As we discussed the matter further, she said she had another thought
which arose to mind after having read it (though she wanted to give this advice
in deference to my position). I previously wrote “nudists are not looking at
others nude bodies” and also stated “many people have scars, rolls of fat, are
skinny as a rail, have no breasts, saggy breasts, and are of various
complexions; we come in all colors, shapes and sizes”. Her response to my
statements was… “How can you say nudists do not notice all the imperfections
stated, if you haven’t looked at them in the first place? How do you not
notice?” Though I tried to explain that we aren’t blind, and of course we can
see, it’s just a matter of not taking into account what happened to come across
our field of vision. Try as I might to
impress upon her the fact that people generally don’t go into nudism for the
reasons assumed by her comments and that being nude isn’t about the ability to
look at other’s naked bodies, instead it’s about how it makes us feel individually,
yet still she maintained her position. She responded with stating “she just
wanted to prepare me for the person who will one day ask this question”.
Now, my
response to her query, has mulled around in my mind for several days. How can
one emphasize the basic principles of nudity without bringing it down to
sexuality? Finally, I settled upon this as the theory which would clarify our
position. Basically, in the simplest of explanations, I believe it falls into
the realm of what I would call etiquette… nude etiquette.
I theorize
there is an unspoken etiquette to nudism. My belief, the basis of nude
etiquette is arrived at via an individual’s reasoning behind nudity. I believe
someone who is a nudist at heart, is simply a person who enjoys the freedom of
being naked. More than that, it is relishing being unclothed in social
situations and delighting in the sensation of it being natural. I have faith
that individuals I meet go into nudism not to be voyeurs or predators, but
because they have an innate desire to experience the freedom that is achieved
through nudity. Call me naïve if you will, but this was our reason for becoming
nudists so why should we consider ourselves as unique as to be the only ones to
do so?
Most of my
life, I have had image problems. I felt insecure about my size, my clothing, my
choice of fashion style, color or coordination. I’ve been apprehensive about
the outfit I chose to wear to a party or work (and going back even further in
time, school). I have experienced the anxiety of walking into a room and
feeling eyes upon me, checking out everything about my choice of attire, unsure
if the looks were of approval or disapproval. I know I am not alone in the
discomfort I am describing. I believe most of us have faced this situation at
one time or another (I’m not sure if men participate in this form of
self-torture, but most of us women do), and when we discovered social nudism I
appreciated the sense of liberation I gained from this sensation of insecurity
and vulnerability.
Since
becoming a nudist, I have never experienced the situation of entering a room or
area where other nudists are gathered, and have all eyes fall upon my body to
check it out. Their eyes are always on mine, greeting me with a smile because
they are happy to see me, showing appreciation for me, not my apparel. I have
found nudists are quite comfortable with eye contact, something you can’t say
about people in the textile world. I have only met with approval and respect as
a nudist and I have not met one person who has been disrespectful in speech,
manner or attitude.
The
acceptance I feel when I encounter other nudists is incredible and I assume
each individual we’ve met appreciates the same thing. We entered nudity to be
free of the conditions which led us into judgment over our attire and
appearance and I have confidence in the belief nudists embrace this standard as
naturally as they embrace their liberty. I don’t believe any of us entered this
lifestyle to present an opportunity for “getting an eyeful”.
Human nature
dictates that there is always an exception to every rule however. I suppose there
will at times be one who falls through the cracks. These are individuals who
may think they’ve found an opportunity to achieve some of their sexual
fantasies by taking advantage of the pleasure we innocently pursue. If that is
their purpose, they will be found out and they will soon become outcasts. I
don’t waste my energy worrying about the character of other people however. If
that is their objective, it’s their bad, not mine. People who have ulterior
motives will not prevent my husband and I from enjoying the life of a nudist,
nor our friends.
Before
ending this post, I feel drawn to pose this question… As a decent human individual,
do you appreciate having your breasts or genitals ogled when meeting someone, whether
clothed or unclothed? Simple social etiquette dictates this as improper
behavior. On many occasions while fully dressed I have encountered men looking
at my breasts when wearing a blouse with a low neckline. The old adage used by
women… “My eyes are up here” has entered my mind more than a few times and if
I’d had the courage to state would have been aptly appropriate. Again, as a
nudist I have never experienced this at any nude venue. If you have entered
nudism to escape the bondage of the textile world, why would you hinder
yourself by holding on to the stigmas which are connected with it? I have come
to the conclusion that the unwritten or unspoken etiquette of nudity is arrived
at by treating others the way you want to be treated. It’s only common sense,
treat each person with the respect you hope or expect to receive.
As I
mentioned at the beginning of this entry, I said I would probably seek other
references. I did so upon reaching the end of this writing, I Googled, “Nudist
etiquette” and found many interesting and informative articles. Each contains an
array of basic etiquettes which should be observed, with lists of do’s and
don’ts toward behavior in nudity. My writings however were achieved simply from
my own observance and perspective.
AZNudistCouple